So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
NoShamevember. You game?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
