I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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