I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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