I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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