She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
