Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
