Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
