I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
