yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
