just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
