She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
