you guys were way drunker than both of me
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
