PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
