i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
