he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I would fuck him just for his dog
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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