Do you still have your period?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
