how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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