PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
