Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
