they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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