You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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