Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
