so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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