I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
