even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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