Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
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