I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
