lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
