It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
