At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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