Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
