I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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