Can i not drive my cunt home
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
