Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
