We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
