do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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