I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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