I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
