i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
