Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
whose parrot is this?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
