what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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