i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
