I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
