Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
