Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
