Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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