Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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