is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
