Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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