Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
